Why Sabby should not write when hyper
by Sabulana
Summary: Random insanity, yaoi and the SUPERSUGARYSWEETDRINKOFHYPERNESS!. Jak gets Torn hyper, madness ensues. Probably not all the funny but what the hell, I'll post it under humour anyway.


A/N: A fic to celebrate the fact that I turn 18 tomorrow! Yay! That means I can do lots of fun stuff over here in Eeeengland like…buy alky-hol legally in pubs and bars! Whoo! Legal alky-hol!

Warnings: random insanity because I'm hyped up on the SUPERSUGARYSWEETDRINKOFHYPERNESS and listening to random Japanese music. Also yaoi because this is –me- we're talking about. Oh, and no plot! Absolutely none whatsoever. Probably OOCness too.

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. Not one. Pouts Oh well…

Torn sat miserably in the Naughty Ottsel. He was miserable because…he's a miserable bastard. Actually, the author can't be bothered to think of a reason right now. Oh well, on with the fic!

So, Torn was in the Naughty Ottsel alone, feeling miserable. He downed a shot of whiskey and poured himself another. Behind him, he heard the doors open.

'_Please don't be the rat…please don't be the rat…_' the tattooed elf thought desperately. But whatever god was meant to be listening obviously hated Torn at the moment. '_After all, lots of other people do. Why not a god as well?_'

"Hey! Tattooed Wonder! You better be paying for that alcohol!" Daxter said, leaping on to the bar from Jak's shoulder.

Torn grunted and threw a pouch of money at Daxter, knocking off the bar. "Here ya go, rat. Now get lost," he growled.

"Aw…somebody's moody, Jak!" Daxter said irritably. "Poor moody baby."

"Shut up, rat!" Torn snapped, downing another shot of whiskey.

"I know what you need," Jak said. "This'll cheer you up in no time!"

The blond elf walked behind the bar and began mixing up a drink.

"Jak, what are you making?" Torn asked.

"You'll see!" Jak said mysteriously.

"Uh-oh…you aren't making…It, are you?" Daxter asked. "I don't wanna think about that…It might do to Torn."

Jak didn't answer and poured the orange concoction into two pint glasses.

"Here ya go, Torn. You'll feel happier after you've drank this!" Jak said, giving Torn a glass and keeping one for himself.

"What's in it?" Torn asked, peering suspiciously at the drink.

It seemed fairly harmless to look at. Torn sniffed it, all the while giving Jak a suspicious look. '_Fruity…_' he noted. He took a sip. '_Sweet too…oh, what the hell…_'

Torn took a deep breath and began drinking.

Daxter closed his eyes in horror. Jak just grinned and drank his share. The little ottsel huddled a stool and hoped his bar would be intact after the drink had taken affect.

Torn put the now-empty glass down on the bar. A smile spread across his face and he looked over at Jak. "That tasted nice," he said.

"Yeah, I know," Jak said, finishing his drink. "You feel better now?"

"Much," Torn replied. "I can't even remember why I was miserable in the first place!" he added with a giggle.

Under the stool, Daxter's eyes shot open. Torn…giggling… '_The world is most definitely doomed…_' he thought as Jak began giggling too.

"Great!" Jak said. "Come on, let's go find something to do to keep you happy!" The blond elf led Torn out of the Naughty Ottsel. "Let's go find some FUN!" he announced to the world. "Come on Daxter!"

Daxter watched them go. '_I'm gonna need some help to keep those two under control._' He thought.

The little orange furball ran after Jak and Torn, hoping he'd run into someone on the way that would help.

The two elves wandered around Haven City for a while. They couldn't find anything to do at all that would keep them interested. Out of boredom Torn burst into song.

"Into the sea, You and me, All these years and no one heard, I'll show you in spring, It's a treacherous thing, We missed you hissed the lovecats!" he sang.

People walking past gave him strange looks and gave him a wide berth.

Jak laughed loudly and started singing his own song. He grabbed Torn's hands and swung him around, singing, "Dear, I fear we're facing a problem, You love me no longer, I know, And maybe there is nothing, That I can do to make you do, Mama tells me I shouldn't bother, That I ought to stick to another man, A man that surely deserves me, But I think you do!"

Torn laughed. More people began avoiding the street they were in. In fact, by the time they'd reached the other end, no one was in sight.

Daxter just watched them and ran to get Tess, Ashelin, Keira, Samos, anyone who would be able to control the two hyperactive elves.

The little ottsel ran for all he was worth to the Freedom League HQ. "Ashelin! Anybody! We've got a situation! Heeeelp!" he cried, running into the room.

Ashelin looked at him. "What are you babbling about now?" she asked.

"Jak...he…made It and now…he and Torn are…" Daxter gasped.

"Are what?" Ashelin asked.

"Hyper," Daxter gasped out and collapsed on the floor.

Ashelin had only seen Torn hyper once before. She remembered the state the Port had been left in and picked Daxter up, hurrying out of the door. She reached for her communicator and called Tess.

"Tess? We have a situation!" Ashelin said.

"Ashelin? What is it?" Tess's voice said over the communicator.

"Jak and Torn are apparently out of control. We don't know where they are. Daxter just told me and passed out right after. Can you meet me at the port? Bring anyone you think will be able to help," Ashelin commanded.

"Will do!" Tess said and shut the communicator off.

Meanwhile somewhere over the rainbow…or down in the Gun Course actually, Jak and Torn had finally found something that would keep them happy.

"Hey! Dodge this!" Torn cried out, laughing manically as he shot at various targets.

Jak was trying to climb random bits of scenery. He was nearly at the ceiling when a stray bullet zoomed past his head and caused him to fall down.

"Hey!" he said, pouting as Torn dissolved into fits of laughter.

"Hehehe…you fell!" he giggled.

"Yeah yeah…" Jak said, glaring. You're fault."

"If not,"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

The two elves stuck their tongues out at each other and turned away.

They sat in silence for all of thirty seconds when they heard voices outside calling their names.

"Jak!"

"Torn!"

"…Sounds like Ashelin and the others…" Torn commented.

"…Wanna play a game with them?" Jak asked. He turned back to Torn, eyes sparkling brightly.

"…Aren't we too old to be playing games?" Torn said. He was beginning to come down from his high.

"Noooo!" Jak said. He grabbed Torn's arm and pulled him upright as he stood. He dragged him out of the gun course and over to the Naughty Ottsel, somehow managing to avoid everyone who was looking for them.

"Jak, stop! Let me go!" Torn protested. He tried to pull away but couldn't. He was dragged into the Naughty Ottsel and Jak dived behind the bar and began making another batch of his special drink.

"What's in this drink anyway?" Torn asked

"Sugar," Jak replied.

"And?"

"Fruity drinks," Jak replied. "A special blend! It's good for you!"

The hyper blond handed Torn a glass of the drink and watched as the elf drank it all. As he put down the glass, the tattooed elf giggled again.

"Ready to go play?" Jak asked, drinking his own share or the concoction.

"Okie dokie!" Torn said, giggling.

"Yay! Time to go play hide and seek!" Jak cried, leading Torn out of the Naughty Ottsel for the second time that day.

Once again, they made it through the Port without any of their friends seeing them. Everyone seemed to have come to find them. The two elves looked at each other, nodded and began pretending to be spies. They sneaked passed Ashelin and jumped over Samos when he wasn't looking and fled the Port.

"That was fun!" Torn said. "So…where do we hide?"

"I know! They'll never find us…" Jak began whispering in Torn's ear.

Torn's eyes widened and a grin spread across his face. He chuckled. "Lead on!" he told Jak.

Jak nodded. "Walk this way!" he said and skipped down the street.

Torn blinked and began skipping too.

Back at the Port, Ashelin called everyone together. "We can't find Jak or Torn anywhere around here," she said.

"I think they were in the gun course at some point but they're long gone from there now," Tess announced.

"You don't think maybe they went back to the Naughty Ottsel, do ya?" Sig asked.

"I checked there. I found a couple of recently used glasses and the contents were definitely …It," Keira said.

"I told you they had drank some!" Daxter said.

"But there were two extra glasses," Keira said. "They went back for more!"

"…In that case I think all we can do is pray there's still a city tomorrow when they come down from the sugar high," Samos said.

"So we're calling it a day? But –" Daxter's protests were cut off.

"Come on, Daxxie. We'll find them later. Don't worry!" Tess said, hugging Daxter.

"Okay, babe," Daxter said.

Meanwhile Jak and Torn were hiding away in their perfect hiding place.

"No one's going to think to look for us here," Jak said proudly.

"Of course not!" Torn agreed.

He looked around the "fort" he and Jak had built on Jak's bed. They'd stolen cushions from the sofa and used everything they could find to build one of the greatest bed forts ever made in the history of bed forts.

They sat for a while, making sure everything was just perfect.

"…You have a cute tongue," Torn said eventually.

Jak blinked. "Um…thank you?" he said.

Torn giggled and poked Jak in the stomach. Jak yelped and poked Torn back. Well, he tried to. Torn grabbed Jak's arm and pulled him off balance. The younger elf landed awkwardly on Torn's stomach and pouted.

"You look cute when you pout too," Torn remarked.

"Yeah? Well…you look…damn hot," Jak replied.

Now it was Torn's turn to blink. "Okay…wanna kiss?" he asked.

Jak thought for a moment and shrugged. "Okay!" he said. He sat up and pounced on Torn, kissing him firmly on the lips.

When they broke apart, Torn looked thoughtful for a moment. "Now…I remember why I was so miserable," he said. "I wanted Jak-kisses but thought I'd never get any."

"Oh…well, you can have plenty of kisses now!" Jak said brightly. He began kissing Torn again.

(Much later…)

Tess and Daxter had given up hope of finding Jak and Torn. There had been no sign of them for hours. The little ottsel went back to the apartment he shared with Jak. After stepping in the door, he turned and stared in shock.

"Argh! Cushion thief!" he yelled.

Then he heard a noise from the bedroom and sneaked over to the door to see who it was. All he could see at first was a mound of cushions, blankets and pillows. Then he noticed various items of clothing strewn all over the room.

'_Waitasecond! Those look like…Torn's pants? Okay, I don't wanna know what's in there!_' he thought.

He turned around and walked straight out of the apartment. Maybe Tess would keep him company a bit longer, until those two woke up and got dressed.

A/N: And that, ladies and gentlemen, ottsels and monkaws, is why I should not be allowed to write fanfiction while hyped up on my SUPERSUGARYSWEETDRINKOFHYPERNESS!nodnod Now…review/flame as you see fit.


End file.
